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The One Thing Your Kids Want More Than Anything

Hey Solo Dad,

Last week we talked about the power of giving everything in your home a designated "home." It’s a simple system that shifts the burden from you to a clear, repeatable process. You're not a janitor; you're building a team.


This week, let’s talk about something a little less tangible but far more important than a tidy home. As solo dads, we work hard to provide, to keep a roof over their heads, and to ensure they have what they need. We often measure our success by what we can provide for them.

But what do they really want?


1 Actionable Strategy: The "One-on-One" Rule

In a busy household, quality time can be rare and hard to find. We're often surrounded by our kids but not truly with them. We're in the same room, but we're on our phones, checking emails, or distracted by the next task.

The solution is to be intentional with your attention: The "One-on-One" Rule.


Here's how to make it happen:

  • Schedule it: Pick a time each week to have dedicated one-on-one time with each of your kids. This could be 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour. Write it down in your calendar and treat it like any other important appointment.

  • Make it a choice: Let them choose the activity. Maybe they want to go for a bike ride, play a video game, read a book together, or just sit and talk. The activity itself isn't what's important; the focused attention is.

  • Put your phone away: This is crucial. Silence your notifications and put your phone in another room. Be fully present. The goal is to show them that for this scheduled time, they are the single most important thing in your world.

This simple rule teaches your kids that they are seen, heard, and valued. It’s a small, consistent act that fills their emotional cup in a way that no new toy or video game ever can.


1 Mindset Shift: Your Presence Is the Greatest Gift

It’s easy to believe that providing for our kids financially is the ultimate measure of our success as dads. But the truth is, what they will remember most is not the things you bought them, but the time you gave them.

You are their safe space. Your presence is the greatest gift you can give them. Show up for your kids not just in the big moments, but in the small, quiet ones too. That’s where the real magic happens.


For a powerful and practical guide on connecting with your kids, check out the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It's a classic for a reason. The book provides communication strategies that help you foster trust, cooperation, and a strong relationship with your kids. It’s an investment in your family's future that pays dividends.


Cheers to the journey,

Todd



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